Mind Your Manners … Ah,
Shut Up!
Anachronism. It’s a ten-dollar word that seems out of place
in a column like this. But it’s the perfect word to describe this week’s
subject, which also seems misplaced in today’s in-your-face society where
kindness is synonymous with weakness. We’re referring to the archaic notion of practicing
good manners. “Good manners” is an anachronism. It’s square. It’s a sissy. It’s
out of place in today’s smash-mouth society.
Be an anachronism
Dad, if you truly want to make a difference in your
teenager’s life and leave a legacy that ought to be carried forth, think back
to another era when being polite to others was the rule of the day. If you can
instill that value in your children against the powerful tide of today’s brand
of human interaction and reaction, you yourself will be considered an
anachronism—albeit a welcomed one.
Our many faces
As parents, this may be our greatest challenge because all
of us live in a society that wears many masks. While we are concerned about our
kids bullying or being bullied, we grown-ups get into fistfights in the
bleachers. While we try to teach morals and values and decency, we are
bombarded with stories of “responsible” adults having sexual liaisons of all
descriptions. While we preach to our sons and daughters that it is wrong to
cheat, we bypass the high road in order to enhance our pocketbook or position
or personal standing.
Hit the reset button
Dad, it will take all the strength you have to hit the reset
button, re-evaluate and talk to your teenagers about practicing good manners
and showing respect for others. Undoubtedly you will get push-back.
Wink-wink
The campaign season will soon be over. We can hear the
collective sigh of relief. If ever there were examples of how not to treat people,
this is it. Politicians on both sides demonstrate once again that to win, one
must go on the attack and get down and dirty. Yes (wink-wink), we know … it’s
the way the game is played. Once the campaign is over, the contenders will shake
hands and return to their corner until the next round. Good heavens, will we
ever stop playing games and reclaim our humanity? Perhaps we don’t remember
how.
Back to basics
Dad, teach your kids that winning and being a winner
are worlds apart. Start a “manners movement.” Talk to your teenagers about the simple
virtues of saying “please” and “thank you.” Teach them that a “thank-you note”
is preferable to a “thank-you tweet.” Instill in them the idea that others come
first, whether it’s opening a door for someone or denying themselves to give someone
else a boost. Tell them tales of a time when young people respected their
elders, emulated their school teachers, looked up to their employer, treated
public property as their own—and treated one another as they themselves wished
to be treated. What a concept!
Oh, and dad (wink-wink), you’ll have to model those
attributes, too.
